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Saturday after his 2pm feeding, Truman Richard Kayne was released from the hospital. In order to gain admission to the hospital, I was given a Parent Pass, which I've been wearing on a lanyard around my neck. It was issued on 10/15 and expired on 11/17, the day Fisher became ill. On 12/12, wearing our expired passes, C and I drove the little man home.

Last night, much like the night before, was mostly sleepless. We checked him constantly while he slept, and while he was awake we tended to his every whim. It was exhausting and exhilarating. The picture on the right was taken by me during the 8 AM feeding/burping/changing/playing shift. The duck he's eating has a pacifier affixed to its beak, so he's chomping it hardcore. WATCH OUT DUCKS.

And now, we hope, the regular craziness of parenting awaits us. Of course, we fuss when he fusses and sweat when he cries...any sign of illness ramps up our heart rates. But so far, so good.

A few other notes:

Today, my family came by. My dad wore a hat shaped like a flower pot. My mom brought mirrors and lamps for the apartment. My sister wants Truman to call her "uncle". My brother cackled while Truman peed all over the changing table.

My grandmother, Truman's great-grandmother (aka "Excellent Grandmother") has been sending us letters and emails and we haven't had the time to respond to them yet. If you're reading, Grandma, we love you and miss you and thank you.

Our friends Goode and Tay (nicknames) dropped by the hospital on Friday. Goode gave C a necklace shaped like a fish with Fisher's birthstone attached. C adores it. I doubt she'll ever take it off.

On the way home from the hospital, we stopped by the Riverdale funeral home to pick up Fisher's remains. Of course, we cried. There is a tendency, everyday, to regret every moment of joy; how dare we feel happiness when Fisher is gone? And then the sadness washes over us. But now Truman cries and our thoughts snap back to the present. We have each other and work to do. We are so lucky.

We've met so many people throughout this ordeal, other fathers and mothers who've helped us to stay strong, all the while enduring their own struggles. Much love to Tova, Keri, Norman, Eric, Jody, Julie, Anthony, Lashanda and all of the NICU parents and their families.

Thank you all for your concern and care. Not sure when the next post will be written.

Much love to you all.